Advancing Christian Faith and Values,
Defending Religious Liberty for All,
Supporting Civility and the Common Good
through Preaching, Teaching, Writing,
Activism and Reasoned Conversations

www.donaldshoemakerministries.com

Brandon Tsay, 26, disarmed the Monterey Park mass murderer Huu Can Tran, 72, before he could kill again at a dance hall in Alhambra, California. Tran put up quite a fight before fleeing. Alhambra awarded Tsay the Medal of Courage. He was also honored at the president’s “State of the Union” address.

If you falter in a time of trouble,
how small is your strength!
Rescue those being led away to death;
hold back those staggering toward slaughter.
If you say, “But we knew nothing about this,”
does not he who weighs the heart perceive it?
Does not he who guards your life know it?
Will he not repay everyone according to
what they have done? – Proverbs 24:10-12 (NIV)

On Leaving a Church or Denomination

When Is It Time to Go?

I’ve seen splits in congregations and denominations. At least one church in my denomination had a 3-way split—we tend to do things in three’s! I’m thankful not to have experienced a big split during my own 55 years of ministry, though a dispute over music style did lead to a 10% loss many years ago—a skirmish in what came to be known as “worship wars.”

Both ugliness and virtue emerge during these times of trauma, and we can choose which to nurture regardless of which side we are on in the debate.

Division in church ministry is as old as the Book of Acts (15:36-41). Paul and Barnabas, Spirit-filled missionary giants, had a major contentious conflict over a man named Mark. He had departed the team once before and Paul didn’t want him on the team again, but Barnabas did. There may have been theological issues beneath the surface. Most splits have these, but also plenty of egotism and self-righteousness, personality conflicts and legalism. One side may be more correct on issues, but at the same time more corrupt in spirit.

In Paul and Barnabas’ case, God overruled and ultimately two successful mission enterprises happened, plus some reconciliation in later years. Sometimes two effective ministries can arise from a separation. Or not, if unhealthy dynamics at work on either side are not addressed.

When there must be separation, it is not a time to blow trumpets and brag about having God and Truth and Purity on your side. It is a time for tears, humility, self-examination, and fresh commitment as individuals and as a community of believers.

What may be justifiable reasons for leaving a congregation? And when is it time to go? Seldom is there a clear line to cross. More often there is a continuum where, at some point, people make subjective decisions that it is time to move on. Don’t judge others in their timing or decisions.

Here I mention four clusters of issues that may justify leaving. There are certainly more. I welcome your replies.

1. Doctrine and Morals
Does the church continue to embrace and proclaim the Classic Truths of the Christian Faith? Or does it put its finger to the wind? Is it moving to adopt some extra-biblical or anti-biblical teachings that reflect trends du jour?

Does the church hold to the moral values that have been reasonably discerned from Scripture by Christians broadly? Or is it, for example, wandering in sexual ethics or away from a deep commitment to the value of human life?

If it is moving into error in doctrine or morals, after gracious efforts to “right the ship” fail perhaps the time has come when it is prudent to move on.

2. Spiritual Gifts and Ministries
Christians differ over what spiritual gifts God gives to his churches today.
I do not have to take sides on this issue in order to make my comments here.

If you believe God has gifted you with particular spiritual abilities and filled your heart with certain passions of ministry, you need to be able to use these abilities and put your passions to work.

The church may disagree that (1) you have these particular gifts or (2) your ministry passions should be fulfilled in this particular church or made priorities by the church. I won’t take sides here either!

If you have “knocked on doors of opportunity” at your church and they won’t open, or you fail to gain the concurrence of church leaders on the use of your gifts perhaps the time has come when it is prudent to move on. You may be able to find a different body of believers where the gifts and passions you believe are yours can find fulfilling expression.

3. Balance and Emphases in Teaching
Jesus warned of teachers who major on minors. “You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel” (Matthew 23:23-24 NIV).

If a church’s teaching ministry majors on minors, or if it is constantly on “hobby horses” and not nourishing the faithful by teaching the great themes of the Bible, perhaps the time has come when it is prudent to move on.

More!
• Is the church’s teaching legalistic? That is, does it hammer on issues of behavior or worship style that really aren’t commanded in the Bible?
• Is the church dabbling in politics? Do you not only need to be a Christian, but also be somewhere on the political spectrum to be accepted? (One of the best words I ever heard was when a new couple greeted me at the door after a service and said, “We’ve been here several times. We are liberal Democrats. And we want you to know we feel very comfortable in this church!” Same should be true for Christians who are conservative Republicans.)
• Is the teaching of the church preoccupied with “Bible prophecy” and its fulfillment before our very eyes?

If a church is into legalism or politics or obsessed with the fulfillment of prophecies, “I’m outta here!”

4. Authority Issues and “Strong Man” Leadership Style
How accountable is the top leadership of the church to a board free to think for itself? Or is the board loaded with pastor-appointed people, pastor’s relatives, or “yes men”? Are people free to graciously question leadership decisions without being told they “should not touch the Lord’s anointed”?

The pastor can have considerable authority but must ultimately be accountable. And the board must be accountable to the congregation.
It should go without saying, pastor and board and congregation are all accountable to God and stand judged by Scripture.

I personally believe a plural eldership of biblical-qualified people (1 Timothy 3:1-7, 5:17-20) is the best form of church government. It isn’t always perfect, but can keep pastoral leadership on course. It also avoids the errors of congregational government (not enough freedom for pastors to lead, for example). And it can deal with alternate authority structures that may arise in the church, such as pressure groups or a group of VSP’s—“Very Spiritual People.” And yes, some churches are “family owned and operated” and the pastor is expected to be a patsy to this ingrained though unofficial authority.

If a church is authoritarian or otherwise haywire on authority or its pastors unapproachable, perhaps the time has come when it is prudent to move on. What other issues do you think justify leaving a church or denomination?

A Final Word: Be a Helpful Communicator to your Pastor –
If your pastor is at all approachable and you are at all able to articulate your concerns clearly and graciously, do your best to let your pastoral leadership know your concerns before you decide to move on. Some who do this will ultimately move on anyway. Others may be able to resolve the issues and be fruitful and blest participants in the future life of the church.

Once you make your decision to move on…well, let me quote from that great expert on etiquette, Emily Post (even though she assumes the pastor is at fault, which often is not the case):

If your desire to make a change is due to the fact that you are not getting what you think you should from your particular faith, or perhaps your views are not compatible with those of the clergyman… You owe him an explanation of your reasons for changing parishes, either by letter or in person. Although it may be difficult, try to be very honest and clear, because while he may be hurt or upset at the time, your criticisms and comments may help him to see some of his failings and to serve his congregation better.
– Emily Post’s Etiquette—A Guide to Modern Manners, 14th Edition (1984)

“The Lord’s Prayer” #2 –
Praying for the Honor of God’s Name

“The Sermon on the Mount”
by Carl Bloch (1877)

“After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.”

– Jesus (Matthew 6:9 KJV)

Mary and I are avid viewers of “Blue Bloods” through all its seasons. We often watch it at the time of our evening meal. So we’ve learned the mealtime prayer this Irish Catholic family uses in most episodes and have made it our own. After pondering this first petition of The Lord’s Prayer we have added new opening words to the mealtime prayer:

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Bless us O Lord and these thy gifts
which we are about to receive from thy bounty.
Through Christ our Lord. Amen.

This reflects the order found in The Lord’s Prayer. First we honor God’s Name. Next we pray for our material and spiritual needs. Both are important and necessary. But the first is first.

The Opening Address: God is both Near and Far

God’s nearness is seen in his “Fatherhood” and in our comfort in addressing him as such.

There are three senses in which God is “Father” –
Universally: God is Father of ALL HUMANITY (Acts 17:28)
Especially: God is Father of his SPIRITUAL CHILDREN
Uniquely: God is Father of our LORD JESUS CHRIST
The Lord’s Prayer addresses God as Father of his spiritual children

“The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.“ (Romans 8:16-17)

Before moving on, I need to address a modern trend. It avoids referring to God as our “Father.” God is our “Father/Mother” or he is our “Parent” or the great Spirit who fills the universe (I guess this means God is “The Force”!).

These are not permissible options. Depart from the Bible’s usage and you have moved from the boundaries of Judeo-Christian thinking and probably into pantheism or some version of paganism. It is a different religion.

God is near, yet he is far – “…in Heaven.” If “Father” draws us to the closeness of God, “in Heaven” confronts us with the greatness of God.

“Be exalted, O Lord, above the heavens.
Let thy glory be over all the earth.”

God is our Father, but he isn’t our buddy.
God is our protector and provider, but he isn’t our butler.
Prayer doesn’t cause God to pop out of a bottle to serve us.

Whenever we say The Lord’s Prayer from our hearts, we confess the greatness of our God. He is close, but he is also majestic. And he is in the seat of authority to govern the course of history and our own lives.

Good worship services will reflect both God’s closeness and God’s greatness. There needs to be a balance here. Great cathedrals bring us before our majestic God. Many Evangelical services, especially Pentecostal ones, bring us before a God who is close (“Reach out and touch the Lord as he walks by…”). Neither God’s closeness nor his greatness is enough by itself. Bring them both together and you will have a service proclaiming that “God is here” both in his closeness and in his greatness, whether in a cathedral or a casual church or anything in between.

The First Petition: A prayer for the Honor of God’s Name

God’s “Name” is all the qualities and character of God made known to us.
For God’s Name to be “hallowed” is for it to be treated as something special and sacred (holy). God’s Name is set apart from all else. We reverence and adore his Holy Name. We must honor and reflect his holy character.

This petition calls on God to lift high his Name. God may do this directly or through his people. Sometimes the Bible speaks of God hallowing his own Name. “I will show the holiness of my great name” (Ezekiel 36:23). The Bible also speaks of God’s people hallowing his Name. “Let them praise your great and awesome name—he is holy” (Psalm 99:3).

The opposite of hallowing God’s Name is to draw God’s Name down into the gutter, to treat it as profane or ordinary, to flippantly toss around his Name.

I suggest there are three ways for us to uplift and not drag down God’s Name:

1. In our WORDS

Obviously, we should never use profanity. We should grieve whenever we hear God’s Name dragged in the dirt this way.

God’s Name also calls us to tell the truth. If God is a God of truth, we should be people of truth. We don’t have to be “under oath” to be truthful.

Avoid this way of profaning God’s Name (Christians sometimes do it):

We use God’s Name to validate a word we want to say or a decision we have made or a direction in life we are taking. “I felt the Lord telling me to say this.” Or, “God led me” to go this way, or to do that. Such claims are made worse in that they put the claimant above assessment if left unexamined.

Even worse, it questions the freedom of the Christian to make his or her own decisions and direction. If God gives me the freedom to do something (that is, it neither is commanded or prohibited in God’s Word), I don’t need to pull God’s Name into some pious phrase to justify it. God has already validated it through the freedom he has given me. Feeling the need to add a pious phrase shows a lack of faith in what God has already said.

2. In our WORSHIP

If we believe God is both great and near, that he is both present and very exalted when we worship, it will greatly impact how we approach worship.

Would we be “on time” (or early!) if a great person were speaking at our church? Would we get the best seat we could get? Would we prepare ourselves for worship? Would we be very attentive and involved mentally and emotionally? Sure we would! But we often are not, because we don’t take seriously our duty to honor God’s Name and presence in our worship. (For a powerful presentation of these thoughts read the first chapter of Malachi.)

3. In our WALK

Beyond our words and worship, our behavior must honor the Lord’s Name. Here is a sad scripture on dishonoring God’s Name (Romans 2:21-24):

You who preach against stealing, do you steal? You who say that people should not commit adultery, do you commit adultery?
You who boast in the law, do you dishonor God by breaking the law? As it is written: “God’s name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.”

In contrast, Jesus taught in the Sermon on the Mount (prior to giving us The Lord’s Prayer), “Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:16).

Likewise, the Apostle Peter teaches, “Abstain from sinful desires which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good works and glorify God…” (1 Peter 2:11-12).

How we represent God in our behavior may lead others to blaspheme God or to praise God. It’s our decision. Our commitment before God needs to be a determination to live out and lift up the meaning of my favorite hymn:

Holy, holy, holy, Lord God almighty,
All thy works shall praise thy name in earth and sky and sea.
Only thou art holy, there is none beside thee.
Perfect in power, in love and purity.

Bible Insight – Pray the Beatitudes During Lent
(Matthew 5:1-10)

The First Beatitude:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

Forgive us, Lord, of our spiritual pride—any attitude that we are spiritually self-sufficient or superior to others in knowledge or faith or spirituality or sense of mission. All we are, we are by your grace.

The Second Beatitude:

“Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.”

People mourn today because of the effects of sin. We mourn illness and death. We mourn persecution and oppression throughout the world. We mourn when evil is done to ourselves and others. We mourn our own sins as we confess them. Help us, God, to mourn with others and lift their heavy burdens.

The Third Beatitude:

“Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.”

True meekness has confidence in Jesus and in God’s promises. Lord, forgive us for our failure to nurture a spirit of meekness. Forgive the contention, strife, rage, abuse, domination and wrongful competitiveness that result. Lead us to fight fire with grace, and leave vengeance in your hands.

The Fourth Beatitude:

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.”

Forgive us, Lord, when we go on our self-imposed spiritual diets and allow our lives to crowd out your Word instead of being nourished by it as we should be. We fail to eagerly search your Word, hear it taught and modeled by others so we might better walk in your will and please you in all we do.

The Fifth Beatitude:

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.”

Lord, if we have failed, in the words of the Prophet Isaiah, to lose the chains of injustice, to share our food with the hungry and provide the poor wanderer with shelter, to clothe the naked, or help the oppressed, we humbly repent and we beseech your forgiveness as we resolve to fulfill this calling better.

The Sixth Beatitude:

“Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.”

Create in us a pure heart, O God. As we see Jesus in your Word and in others, mold us by your Spirit that we might be more like him. May the hope of Jesus’ coming purify our hearts and minds and deeds until that day when our eyes behold him and we are fully transformed to be what we should be.

The Seventh Beatitude:

“Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.”

Father in Heaven, we fail to fulfill “The Prayer of St. Francis,” that you would make us instruments of your peace, bringing love, pardon, faith, hope, light, and joy to our world of strife. We need your wisdom and grace to be reconcilers even as you have reconciled us to yourself through Christ.

The Eighth Beatitude:

“Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

Father, your Word warns us that it is through many trials that we enter the Kingdom of God. Living in America, we’ve enjoyed freedom to live out our faith. Let us be warned that this may not last, even as many suffer now throughout the world because they live out their confession that Jesus is Lord.

Forgive our fear and timidity. Empower us with your Holy Spirit so we may face our trials, proclaim Jesus, live out our faith, and draw others to him. Amen.

www.donaldshoemakerministries.com

Don has been a member of the clergy in the Long Beach, California area since 1970. He now serves as Pastor Emeritus of Grace Community Church of Seal Beach (where he was senior pastor 1984-2012) and as Senior Chaplain of the Seal Beach Police Department (2001+). He previously was an assistant professor of Biblical Studies at Biola University (1976-84) and chaired the Social Concerns Committee in the Fellowship of Grace Brethren Churches from 1985 to 2019.

His graduate work includes a Master of Divinity from Grace Theological Seminary, a Master of Theology from Fuller Theological Seminary with a concentration in Christian ethics, and a Doctor of Ministry from American Baptist Seminary of the West (now Berkeley School of Theology) with a concentration on the Charismatic Movement. His law school studies included a course on the First Amendment. He and his wife Mary have been married for over 56 years. They have two children and six grandchildren.

© 2023 Donald P. Shoemaker